Am I That Easy to Forget? 我就如此无足轻重？ They say you found somebody new 有人说你有了新目标 But that won't stop my loving you 但这不会减少我对你的爱 I just can't let you walk away 我只是不愿看着你这样走开 Forget the love I had for you 这样忘记我对你的爱 Guess I could find somebody too 设想我也可以找其他人 But I do want no one but you 可是我除了你谁

and if you think about the little kid who sits on your lap如果你想像一下，有个小孩坐在你大腿上and who is cozily nested here and very secure and comfortable,他舒服地坐在那里，既安全又舒适and at some point all of us need to go out into the world而在某种程度上，我们每个人都需要走出去to discover and to explore.去发现、去探索.That&#39s the beginning of desire,这就

In love, we want to have, we want to know the beloved.在爱情中，我们想要拥有，我们想要了解我们的爱人We want to minimize the distance. We want to contract that gap.我们想腻在一起，想跨越阻碍We want to neutralize the tensions. We want closeness.我们想调和不安的情绪，我们想亲密无间。But in desire, we tend to not really want to go back to the places we&#39v

And we tend to fall in love with somebody我们会倾向于from the same socioeconomic background,在同等的社会、经济背景，the same general level of intelligence,同样智力水平，the same general level of good looks,同等的相貌，the same religious values.以及相同的宗教信仰中找到自己的爱人。Your childhood certainly plays a role, but nobody knows how.而童年的经历也会影

So I just copied and pasted from my resume.所以我直接把简历，复制粘贴上去So in the descriptive part up top,上面，描述部分I said that I was an award-winning journalist我说我是，获奖记者and a future thinker.和未来思考者When I was asked about fun activities and让我描述兴趣爱好和理想人选my ideal date, I said monetization我填了，赚钱and fluency in Japanese.和日

So knowing that there was superficial data既然公式配对，that was being used to match me up with other people,用的是肤浅信息I decided instead to ask my own questions.我决定，自己问问题What was every single possible thing我要找的，另一半that I could think of that I was looking for in a mate?需要具备，哪些条件呢？So I started writing and writi

So my name is Amy Webb,我的名字呢，叫艾米·韦伯and a few years ago I found myself at the end几年前，我发现自己走到of yet another fantastic relationship又一段美好恋情的尽头that came burning down in a spectacular fashion.一切绚丽消逝And I thought, you know, what&#39s wrong with me?你说我，到底怎么了？I don&#39t understand why this keeps happening.真不

Well, one month later,一个月，之后I had a lot of data, and I was able to do another analysis.我收集了大量数据，足够再分析一回And as it turns out, content matters a lot.结果发现，内容很重要So smart people tend to write a lot --聪明的人，往往写很多 — —3,000, 4,000,3、4千5,000 words about themselves,甚至5千字，自我介绍which may all be very, very interest

I would also like to tell the world that animals love.我还想分享一下关于动物爱情的故事。There&#39s not an animal on this planet世界上任何一种动物that will copulate with anything that comes along.都不会饥不择食地寻找活物进行交配。Too old, too young, too scruffy, too stupid, and they won&#39t do it.太老的、太年轻的、太脏的或是太蠢笨的，它们都不会选择。Unless you&#39re s

We are the only ones who have an erotic life,人类是唯一过性生活的物种，which means that it&#39s sexuality transformed by the human imagination.所谓性生活完全是人类想象出来的东西We are the only ones who can make love for hours,人类也是唯一能持续几个小时做爱have a blissful time, multiple orgasms,有幸福时光，有多次高潮and touch nobody, just because we can i

So, why does good sex so often fade,为何性爱的激情那么容易褪色？even for couples who continue to love each other as much as ever?就算是那些爱得如胶似漆的夫妇也无一例外。And why does good intimacy not guarantee good sex,为何亲密的爱情也无法维持激情的色彩呢？contrary to popular belief?这和我们普遍对性生活与爱情的关系的认知相违背。Or, the next question would be,或者说，换第二个问题:can

You all know this story.你们都知道这个故事.In the summer of 1950,在1950年的夏天,Enrico Fermi, the Italian-American physicist Enrico Fermi,美籍意大利心理学家and atomic-pile builder,和原子堆创造者went to lunch at Los Alamos National Laboratory在Los Alamos国家实验室和一些同事们共进午餐,and joined some colleagues there, and asked them a question:问他

And a lot of the time the question of parenthood is,父母常常面对的问题是what do we validate in our children,孩子在哪些方面值得肯定and what do we cure in them?哪些方面需要治愈？Jim Sinclair, a prominent autism activist, said,有名的自闭症专家，吉姆·辛克莱说，&quotWhen parents say &#39I wish my child did not have autism,&#39&quot当父母说 &#39我希望我的孩子没有

I&#39m going to go off script and make Chris quite nervous here我打算不按预定的来，这让克里斯很紧张by making this audience participation.我打算让观众参与互动All right. Are you with me? Yeah. Yeah. All right.懂我的意思吧，懂。很好So what I&#39d like to do is have you raise your hand我要你举手if you&#39ve ever heard a heterosexual couple having

Encounter one: Ocean City, New Jersey, 1980.遭遇一: 1980年,新泽西的欧欣城.This was the summer when the special edition of那是个夏天,正好赶上《第三类接触》的&quotClose Encounters of the Third Kind&quot was released.特别版发布.And I went on vacation with my parents to the Jersey shore.我和父母一起去新泽西的滨海度假.Within 12 hours, I was horribly s

I was one of the only kids in college who had a reason上大学时，我是唯一一个需要to go to the P.O. box at the end of the day,在一天结束的时候去开邮箱的人，and that was mainly because my mother has never believed主要是因为我妈妈从不信赖in email, in Facebook, in texting or cell phones in general.电子邮件、社交网站、短信，甚至电话。And so while other kids were

Close encounter four: the Algarve,遭遇四:阿尔加瓦Portugal, 1991.葡萄牙,1991.Some years later, I and this woman --许多年过后,我和这个女人--we&#39ll call her &quotCatherine Fletcher&quot --我们将称她为“Catherine Fletcher”-went traveling through the south of Portugal together.我们穿越葡萄牙南部去旅行.We stayed in old, crumbling, walled citi

So when I was in Morocco,我在摩洛哥的时候，in Casablanca, not so long ago,不久前，在卡萨布兰卡，I met a young unmarried mother called Faiza.我遇到一个名叫法伊扎（Faiza）的年轻未婚妈妈。Faiza showed me photos of her infant son法伊扎给我看了她儿子婴儿时期的照片and she told me the story of his conception, pregnancy, and delivery.并且告诉了我她怀孕、妊娠、分娩的故事。It was a r

I believe that there are new, hidden tensions我相信，有新的，隐藏的紧张关系that are actually happening between people and institutions --发生在人们与制度之间，institutions that are the institutions that people在人们日常生活中inhabit in their daily life:的制度如：schools, hospitals, workplaces,学校、医院、工作场所、factories, offices, etc.工厂、办公室等等。A

So, think of the three settings I&#39ve talked to you about:那么想想这3个我所谈到的背景：factory, migration, office.工厂，移民，办公室。But it could be in a school, it could be an administration,但这也可能在学校，在政府，it could be a hospital.也可能在医院发生。Three settings that, if we just step back 15 years,这3种背景下，如果我们只追随到15年前，if you just t

Close encounter two: Brookline, Massachusetts, 1984.遭遇二: 1984年马萨诸塞的布鲁克林I went to see the movie &quotDune,&quot我去那里看电影&quot沙丘&quotand a girl talked to me. Now, on its face --一个女孩跟我搭讪,从表面上看 --this is impossible on its face, I realize --我意识到,这从表面上看是不可能的 --but it is absolutely true.但它确实是真的.It was openin

It&#39s time we moved beyond Mars and Venus,男人来自火星，女人来自金星的时代已经过去because the truth is that men are from Africa现在所有人都知道真相，男人来自非洲and women are from Africa.女人也来自非洲Thank you.谢谢大家Thank you. Thank you.谢谢，谢谢So a question.问个问题It&#39s so perplexing, trying to use arguments about evolutionary history要将进化历史方面的证

&quotEven in purely non-religious terms,“就算抛开宗教信仰的因素，homosexuality represents a misuse of the sexual faculty.同性恋也是性滥交的代名词It is a pathetic little second-rate substitute for reality --它是可悲的，次等的，一种现实的替代品a pitiable flight from life.是人生中一段令人遗憾的旅程As such, it deserves no compassion,因此，同性恋不值得同情it deserves n

And I said to her, &quotWhat do you think you did我对她说， &quot你觉得你做了什么that helped him to emerge as this charming, accomplished, wonderful person?&quot帮他成为一个有魅力、成功、精彩的人吗?&quotAnd she said, &quotWhat did I do? I loved him, that&#39s all.她说，&quot我做了什么？我爱他，就这样Clinton just always had that light in him.克林顿一

Close encounter three: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,遭遇三:宾夕法尼亚州的费城,1989.1989年In the mid-to-late &#3980s,八十世纪末,the novelist Whitley Strieber wrote a book called &quotCommunion,&quot小说家Whitley Strieber写了本自传,in which he described his own lifelong experiences自传中他描述了being abducted by aliens.被外星人绑架的经历.And he

Should she say, &quotYou&#39re just like everyone else but a little bit shorter?&quot她应该说“你和其他人一样，只是矮了点儿”？Or should she try to construct some kind of dwarf identity,还是去试图建立某种小矮人身份认同get involved in the Little People of America,加入美国小个子联盟become aware of what was happening for dwarfs?开始了解矮人生活圈的那些事？And I

I thought a lot about the mother of one disabled child I had seen,我想起我见过的一个残疾孩子的母亲a severely disabled child who died through caregiver neglect.这个有严重残疾的孩子，因为照料不周而去世And when his ashes were interred, his mother said,当他的骨灰被安葬的时候，他的母亲说&quotI pray here for forgiveness for having been twice robbed,&quot我在这

I&#39m sorry. It&#39s true.我很抱歉，不过这是事实The human, some of you will be happy to hear,你们有些人可能比较喜欢听到这个has the largest, thickest penis of any primate.人类有灵长类中最大最厚的阴茎Now, this evidence goes way beyond anatomy.证据其实还不止于解剖学It goes into anthropology as well.我们还有人类学证据Historical records are full of accounts of p

When he confessed losing some of our savings in the stock market, I gave him a hug and said, &quotIt&#39s okay. It&#39s only money.&quot而当他坦白承认用我们的一点积蓄炒股亏了钱时，我紧紧抱住他安慰说：“没关系，钱财乃身外之物。”There is sensitivity. Last week he walked through the door with that look that tells me it&#39s been a tough day. Afte

The best kind of love - Feiby天底下最真挚的爱情 - 菲比I have a friend who is falling in love. She honestly claims the sky is bluer. Mozart moves her to tears. She has lost 15 pounds and looks like a cover girl.我有一个朋友正在热恋中，她发自内心地说，天空都好像更蓝了。莫扎特的音乐让她感动涕零。自恋爱以来，她体重已经减了十五磅，现在苗条得活像封面女郎。&quotI&#39m young again!&quot